Comments for unstable mind

Comment on Been considering producing a "show" for a ‘Net rad… by Harold

Harold — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 14:43:14 +0000

Hi Itachi,

I’m not certain what you’re saying. Please elaborate further.

Comment on Been considering producing a "show" for a ‘Net rad… by Itachi

Itachi — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 08:56:20 +0000

You have to pay to be able to use a computer mic If you sign up for free, you have to use a phone to call into your accunot, and that would be your mic you are calling to New York (that is long distance for me). Also, if you use a free accunot you can only do three shows a month. They changed the time too, so you can only do an hour show or less.

Comment on “You Need to Learn to Communicate”… by harold

harold — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 22:27:55 +0000

Thanks for sharing your comments, Kristen. I feel I’ve grown quite a bit since writing this post last April, but I was (and still am) emotionally immature. I’m working on it, though, and feel like a very different person today than I did nine months ago. Looking back on what I wrote, it makes me cringe a bit to think I was so emotionally invested in that (or any) person.

Comment on “You Need to Learn to Communicate”… by Kristen

Kristen — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 21:58:14 +0000

It’s a fine line that I walk myself. I put it in terms of a real need to connect with people. I don’t know if things have always been this way or if it’s something to do with the accelerated pace of life under late capital, but it’s so $*#&@& HARD to actually connect with people. And so easy to scare them off when that extended, full-on hand of friendship is rejected. Emotionally immature is a tough label to fling at yourself. But I think a lot more people than will admit it find themselves at loose ends when it comes to friendship as adults.

Comment on Holidays are for Heathens by harold

harold — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 19:58:45 +0000

Thank you, Laura. I seem to have a love/hate relationship with the holidays, anticipating the time of year with a mixed sense of hope and dread: hope that I’ll be able to find or get myself into a state of mind that’ll have me participating in the events of the season; dread that I’ll again be too overwhelmed with anxiety to enjoy anything.

One thing I failed to mention in this particular post — and one which certainly affects my perspective — is my long-standing battle with depression. I’ve finally allowed myself to accept certain medications that I’ve long resisted taking and I must admit I’ve been feeling better lately. I still need to get back into therapy, however; it’s been a few years. But a month into this new regimen I’m finding myself in the mood to imbibe the spirits of the season: I’m watching holiday films, cooking and baking, trying to find ways to gift the people I care about…

It’s still not easy for me to get out of bed every day but it’s a bit easier, and perhaps enough for me to live a little this holiday season. I’m not feeling well enough to adopt any orphans yet (I know, that one’s out of left field: I’ve been watching perhaps too many holiday films) but my suicidal ideations are somewhat less prominent. I’m actually sensing the possibility of enjoying life again (more often than not, that is).

Comment on Holidays are for Heathens by Laura K. Droege

Laura K. Droege — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 18:49:32 +0000

Great post. I’ve often wondered why we try so hard to heal wounds (or ignore them) at Christmas/Thanksgiving time. Is it a cultural expectation that families MUST be together (and happy!) at this time, something engrained in us through holiday songs and Norman Rockwell paintings? It’s not unlike planning your wedding day and fantasizing about your future marriage through the lenses of romantic comedies/love songs/romance novels; it’s highly unlikely that the big day and the even more important lifetime together will be what you envisioned.

Comment on Remapping My Brain by Genevieve Reyes

Genevieve Reyes — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 17:00:18 +0000

Shaggerty- My daughter is strongly considering her graduate studies at Stanford. She has graduated from U.C. Berkeley and is being pursued by reputable companies here in the U.S. as well as overseas. Very curious.. Please expound why graduate schools are a typical cry for help.. Which graduate school did you go to and what major was your specialty study of choice? Your statement was an interesting one. Actually, not your statement… Retract. It was the use of the word “typical”. I’m sure you have and explanation with merit and not because you heard it from, a friend. Please do tell…

Comment on Remapping My Brain by harold

harold — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 17:01:13 +0000

How so, Suzanne?

Comment on Remapping My Brain by shaggerty

shaggerty — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 16:35:40 +0000

I forgot to mention that graduate school is frequently a cry for help, too. But that doesn’t make it a bad thing.

Comment on Exorcising The Demon by harold

harold — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 04:49:13 +0000

Thanks for reading my words and for commenting on them, Jeannine. I’ve definitely grown insecure and unstable over the years; I always was but it was expressed differently when you knew me before. I isolated myself for a long time once I left Eagle Rock; I eventually found a companion but we remained isolated with ourselves — not in our relationship but in the way we distanced ourselves from our friends, and that took its toll. Then my mom became ill and I began to have panic attacks while busing her around to various appointments. I’ve been through therapy, I’ve taken antidepressants…I no longer get full-blown panic attacks and I credit the meds to that but still, I’m chronically depressed (and perhaps bipolar, I just don’t know).